Do you ever think about conversations you had with the people in you life that you have lost? 

I’ve been thinking lately about some of the special peoples that have passed away in my life. Maybe because I’m getting older. However I think it is more because I haven’t really lost too many people in my life that is close to me.

CLEDA REA:

One of those people is Cleda Rea, Cleda is my ex-mother in-law. She was the sweetest women around. She excepted me and my daughter into her life with arms wide open. She had a special bond with Krystal and even though she was not her blood grandmother, Krystal was her grandchild. Nobody had better say different around Cleda.

Cleda always stood by me, she was not only my mother in law she was my friend. She would talk to me about issues with the husband and how she (if times were different) would change her life with him. She would always listen to me about issues I was having and always took my side. I will always cherish her strength and compassion.

BRENDA WEBER:

My Close friend Brenda Weber, Brenda and I first meet at work. She was a vibrant, fun loving person who liked to joke and laugh a lot. I was more of a reserved and cautions person. We got close when I was looking for a place to stay and she wanted to move out of her parents house. A family member of hers had a house he wanted to rent, so we joined forces. I had Krystal at that time, She was still in diapers however Brenda didn’t mind as long as she didn’t have to change diapers…she was a trouper.

We both meet our future husbands in that house. And soon after Brenda gave birth to her daughter. We stayed as close as we could, both with families and work we didn’t stay as close as I would have liked. Years later I moved back home to Florida 2000 miles from Brenda. We would text from time to time but once again-life…I got word that my old friend had gotten sick, that was an understatement. It was hard for her to talk about what she was going though and I didn’t push her, just hearing her voice and talking about our grandchildren was good enough. I never really thought I was as good of a friend to her as she said I was, maybe because I wasn’t able to be with her to help her once she got sick.

I do however believe with all my heart and soul when she left the world she came to tell me goodbye. For a brief moment I experienced what she was feeling. No one can tell me otherward.

I was sleeping and I woke up, my first thought was “Brenda” I felt a great sadness and started crying, deep lose and just lots of tears. Then I felt I was flying, Free, Happy, Free so Free! My friend was telling me she was ok, not to worry. I fell back to sleep and when I woke up, I was checking Facebook and people was talking about her passing that night. I still don’t know why she showed me, however I am glad she did.

MY MOM:

I remember and regret a lot of conversations with my mom Barbara Crump. My mom has always been a source of conflict for me. I really didn’t know much about my mom most of my life. Only the last 15 years or so when I moved back home did I really know my mom. She was always an independent women and her life was more important than mine, at least I always seen it that way.

Like I said I only got to know her in the past 15 years before she passed away, and I am very grateful for the time together. We were both adults and even though she acted like a baby at times, we had many conversations together where I was able to see her as a person, and understand some of the decisions she made in her life. I sometimes regret not doing more, not spending more time with her and thinking she was a burden at times.

The day my mom passed, my brother was taking care of her with the help of hospice. She had a stroke and essentially stopped eating. The morning she passed, I came down to see her with the twins. The hospice nurse had just left when I arrived and told my brother it wouldn’t be long at all before she was gone. I got in the house and said hi to her, told her I was getting a chair so I could sit next to her and talk. Within 15 minutes of me arriving she took her last breath. My brother said she was waiting for me.

I lived most of my childhood with my Aunt. My mom and her husband would move when they felt like it. Most of the time leaving us kids behind with out a care or at least that’s the way it looked like in the eyes of a child. I wish I could have let go of the past, the anger, and the hurt. Because even though she wasn’t around when I was a child, I was an adult now and should be able to let all that go. I don’t have the chance now to show her how much she meant to me even when she wasn’t in my life she was always with me.

 

KEVIN LOVETT:

I also want to talk about my friend Kevin Lovett. We meet at work and I was immediately drawn to his charm. There is some people that has a personality that everyone is attracted to, and Kevin was one of them. He was very pleasant to talk to, he always made me feel special. We didn’t work together very long however we kept in contact via texting. Kevin died this year, he never told me he was sick I found out he had passed from Facebook. Krystal came home and asked me if I had seen Facebook about Kevin.

I remember each of my Family and friends fondly, and will always and forever will miss each of their loving light.